We have seen new nations form and others dissolve into the distant ambition of prospective wannabe tyrants and dictators, but there is a new soon-to-be-dominant world power and they call themselves (or they might) Divorce-stan! . While we were all sitting at home quietly watching Mama Mia on DVD it seems that a new political movement was building and since we were not looking they climbed to a terrifying size :30 million. A report by Divorced Dating revealed there’s now thirty million divorced and the figure rises by almost a million a year.
According to Euro Stat, Europe alone now has a population of 18 million divorced with the largest number of these new cases from the uk. However, while the UK has the maximum number of Divorce instances, don’t start planning to emigrate just yet since it is only 10th in Europe when ranked by population. So if you really want to make certain your marriage fails you need to book your flight today to Lithuania; surprisingly concrete-grey former USSR states do not rank very highly for marital success, or the safety record of nuclear power-plants nor do they do to well on the suicide front. . Actually I believe I’ll cancel my vacation there completely.
Initial signs are that Divorce-istan have yet to arm themselves but might be in discussions with North Korea to provide as many motorbikes, convertibles, gym membership, and plastic surgeons that this recently single and upwardly mobile group today require. Governments grow fearful of an attack by Divorce-istan as they collect in force. With over a million divorces in the Netherland already and a large number in Denmark it seems probable that the Netherland will probably be the first to be overthrown.
The total amount of Divorced in the USA and Europe is currently two million more than its current population so that it’s already fit for purpose, throw into a few soft drugs, tulips, clogs and also a fantastic red-light district and I think we’ve got a winner. So what language will they speak in Divorce-istan? Over 20 million will talk English being from both the UK and USA with the literary and literary language being second and third most common. The only hope we have is that using the normal age at Divorced currently being just over 40 (following a typical 11 year union) which they will be too exhausted to struggle, together with the battle temporarily stopped to allow the combatants’ to observe this week’s desperate housewives. A rather cynical and sarcastic : Nathan Barker